Diary, August 1905
NP
August 1-25, 1905
Previously unpublished.
August 1, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium
My mind is drawn out to write. I cannot sleep, and I am so burdened it is no use to attempt to sleep. The presentation to me is that the whole world is becoming that which will bring about that time of trouble such as never was since there was a nation, and the coming of the Lord Jesus in the clouds of heaven will be speedily brought to a close. Who will be prepared for this great day? 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 1
August [21], 1905
Loma Linda, Redlands
I was informed on Sabbath [August 19] there were about two thousand crowded under the very large tent in Los Angeles. I spoke to the people at four p.m. I felt deeply the necessity of the sustaining grace of God. Second Peter, first chapter, was my subject. The people listened with great attention. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 2
But a strange thing happened to me that night. I was taken very violently sick and could not interpret the reason. In the night season I dreamed a physician came to me and said, “You are poisoned, and others will realize the same suffering in consequence of breathing the atmosphere poisoned by many breaths. You will overcome this, but the many and continuous meetings—meeting after meeting—are not advisable. You must have a change at once.” I awoke and again I slept and the same was repeated. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 3
I was very, very sick, but all was done for me that could be done. I slept little and could not eat. Yesterday, Sunday, we took an early train for Loma Linda. I am up at three this a.m., writing a few lines. The atmosphere is very much better, and I lay down in the cars and slept, but was so weak I could not eat breakfast or dinner. I loathe food. But this atmosphere is beneficial. There is health in it. I am away where I need not inhale the many breaths, and I can now see I was poisoned as I have been many times. Always at such times there was excruciating pain so violent that I could scarcely endure it. I am not as sick and nauseated this morning as yesterday. I thank the Lord for this relief. The Lord is healing me. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 4
On Sabbath, a twenty-dollar bill was presented to me to apply where it was most needed. I sent it to Elder Haskell to help defray the expenses of his school of workers. May the Lord bless his labors. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 5
I am instructed that these meetings should be carried in a more healthful, precautionary way. The people must have more opportunity to express their minds. So many discourses should not be crowded in, because the people cannot digest so much and are not benefited by crowding in discourse after discourse. I am cautioned that I should guard my strength, for I have much to do, and I will endeavor to do this for the future. May the Lord forgive my imprudence on these important occasions. I am instructed that so many discourses crowded one upon another are not the most successful way to carry such meetings. The people must have a chance to work themselves. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 6
I am really in a very weak condition, and being held in the meetings so continuously is injurious to the health of the body and the health of the soul. There are many things to come before the people, and they cannot digest too many discourses. There has been a decided victory after victory gained, which means much to our future work. But there are positive dangers in sitting so many hours collected together with so little opportunity for exercise of the muscles. There must be a work done to preserve health and strength in these meetings. When so many are collected together, if they are not very careful in their diet, they will suffer. May the Lord teach us to be wise, and may we reason from cause to effect. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 7
Monday, August [21] 1905
Los Angeles, Southern California
I thank the Lord for the health and strength the Lord has given on the journey to this place. I will praise the Lord. It was with fear and trembling that I came. I was awakened Tuesday to write special letters to some who are binding themselves together to raise means to build a sanitarium in Colorado Springs. It is an individual party concerned in the matter. I was awakened from sleep. I had scenes presented before me, and I was alarmed at the outlook. The Lord has not called these men to do any such work at this time, and they have not the means but must use their influence in setting matters before our brethren who should now have their attention called to the southern field. The Lord now would have every soul do his appointed work and not get out of his place. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 8
August 24, 1905
Loma Linda, Redlands, Southern California
Last Sabbath morning I had great pain in my left side and in my breast right over my heart. I may not be able to attend the meeting, but I shall try to do this. But I like not the pain centering about my heart. The whole side is in pain. What shall I do? What shall I do? I see so much to be done and so many things move slowly. There is need of continuous light. The experience of yesterday will not be repeated for today. We need to follow on to know the Lord, that we may know His goings forth are prepared as the morning. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 9
Brother and Sister Burden, W. C. White, and the household generally attended the meeting in Redlands. I was very sick. The beginning was after Sunday meeting in Los Angeles, after speaking at six o’clock to about two thousand people. Pleurisy, it seemed to me, set in, and my pain was very severe in left arm and shoulder extending to the left lung and heart. I was in great pain. Every breath was severe. We did all we could do and then, committing all to the Lord, after some time I obtained peace and rest; but I do not want to do anything to bring on such experiences. I was relieved of the acute pain and was up next morning, knowing it was wisdom to leave the ground. My son Willie, Dores Robinson, and his wife Ella May White Robinson accompanied us. I lay down on the seat most of the way and felt relieved after we arrived at Loma Linda. Went several times to Redlands to meet W. C. White who had gone to San Diego. He came at last and we were glad, for he was needed here to understand what we should do. We must do something to obtain physicians and to get helpers whom the Lord will unite with and who will be true to honor God and not glorify self. We must obtain nurses. We will do our best. We want that class who will not pay honor to man and disrespect God. The truth will triumph. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 10
Last Friday I had another severe attack of pleurisy. We fought it as best we could, and I have not eaten anything for three days but citrus and melon juice with a couple of eggs beat up in it. No solid food has passed my lips for about four days. I have walked out with Dores and Ella May every day, hoping I might be benefited. The large, commodious tent was crowded full; and having to speak, taking in full inspirations of the air full of the hundreds of impure breaths, and sending out my voice so the congregation could hear, affected me—poisoned me. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 11
Henry Kellogg came to Loma Linda, and I had a few minutes of conversation with him Friday and again on Sunday morning. He left with Willie White and others for Glendale, and will take the cars from Los Angeles for Mountain View, and from there home to St. Helena to attend to his business. Had conversation with Elder Burden and wife. They had consultation with several coming from Redlands. The company were accommodated with seats in the grove of trees and report an excellent meeting. One man who had been a Methodist attended the camp-meeting in Los Angeles and heard the evidence of the truth and accepted the faith and was very happy. He gave one hundred dollars toward the purchasing of Loma Linda. Henry Kellogg left five dollars for his entertainment. All this helps, and may the blessing of the Lord rest upon them is our prayer. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 12
August 25, 1905
Loma Linda, Redlands, Southern California
Friday. We have now reached this place. Brother Burden wrote, “We have secured the reservation of this place.” As I become acquainted with this place, I am surprised more and more that the Lord has in His abundant mercy wrought in our behalf. Here are the grand buildings abundantly prepared with rooms. In the main building there is a large parlor with carpet of best body Brussels covering the floor; and also the hallway—long, very long—is well carpeted with thick body Brussels so a footfall cannot be heard. But I will not undertake this description, for I wish others to do this. I have felt more than thankful that this grand place was placed within our reach. On every occasion that I am called to speak upon the grand subject of temperance and our medical missionary work established in all parts of our world, I have been accustomed to bow before the Lord and cast my helpless soul on One who is ever to be acknowledged our sufficiency, giving us His full assurance, just before He ascended, after His resurrection. 20LtMs, Ms 176, 1905, par. 13