EGW
Many are unhappy in their home life, because they are trying so hard to keep up appearances. They expend largely of means and labor unremittingly to gain the praise of their associates—those who really care nothing for them or their prosperity. One article after another is considered indispensable to the household appointments, until many expensive additions are made that, while giving a momentary satisfaction to the eye, do not increase the comfort of the family one whit. At the same time, all these things have taxed the strength and patience, and consumed valuable time which might be expended in the service of the Lord. HR November 1, 1876, par. 1
The precious grace of God is made secondary to matters of no real importance, and while collecting material for enjoyment, they lose the capacity for happiness. They find that their possessions fail to give the satisfaction they had hoped to derive from them. This endless round of labor, and unceasing anxiety to embellish the home for visitors and strangers to admire, never pays for the time and means thus expended. It is hanging about the neck a yoke of bondage grievous to be borne. HR November 1, 1876, par. 2
In many households, there are four walls and costly furniture, velvet carpets and plate-glass mirrors; and this place is wrongly named Home. That sacred word does not belong to the glittering mansion, where the joys of domestic life are unknown. There are spacious parlors, closed from the sweet sunshine and the life-giving air, for fear those choicest gifts of Heaven might tarnish the furniture and fade the carpets. Sunless and damp, these rooms are unlighted and unheated save when visitors are to be entertained. Then the doors are thrown open, and the treasures, too precious for the use and comfort of the family, are devoted to unsympathizing acquaintances. HR November 1, 1876, par. 3
These rooms are altogether too fine for every-day use, and above all, the children must be strictly excluded from their precincts, for fear of soiling the furniture or curtains. In fact, the children are the last thought of in such a home. They are utterly neglected by the mother, whose whole time is devoted to keeping up appearances. Their minds are untrained, they acquire bad habits, and become restless and dissatisfied. Finding no pleasure in their own homes, but only uncomfortable restrictions, they choose to break away from the household as soon as possible. It does not require expensive furniture and costly tapestry to make children contented and happy in their homes; but it is necessary that the parents give them tender love and careful attention. It is for the parents to take the lead in habits of simplicity, drawing their children from the artificial to the natural life, and binding them to their hearts by the silken cords of affection. Gentle manners, cheerful conversation and loving words, will make home more attractive than any ornaments that can be bought or sold. HR November 1, 1876, par. 4
There are but few true fathers and mothers in this age of the world, and this is on account of the artificial lives we lead more than from any other cause. We should not be so anxious for external appearances, but labor more for practical comfort throughout every room in the house. Less parade in the parlor, and more time devoted to the training of the children, and to the preparation of simple, wholesome food, and to the general economy and comfort of the household, would make happy hearts and pleasant faces in the home. We should live less for the outside world, and more for the members of our own family circle. There should be less display of superficial politeness and affectation toward strangers and visitors, and more of the courtesy that springs from genuine love and sympathy toward the dear ones of our own firesides. HR November 1, 1876, par. 5
The very best part of the house, and the most comfortable furniture, should be for the use of the family, for the comfort of those who really live in the house. Such a home would be most attractive to that class of friends who really care for us, whom we could benefit, and by whom we could be benefited. But those guests who are attracted to us by the prospect of sumptuous dinners, and an extravagant luxury of style, are not the ones whose companionship will improve our minds or hearts. We have no moral right to lavish time and bounty upon such visitors, while our precious God-given children are suffering gross neglect. HR November 1, 1876, par. 6
But it is so flattering to the pride of some persons to exhibit a certain style of living for the benefit of occasional guests that they are willing to sacrifice the daily peace and comfort of life for this empty gratification. The gorgeously embellished mansions, costly furniture and carpets, the toil in serving up dishes for epicurean appetites, the extravagant entertainments which swallow up thousands of dollars, and pompous equipages more for show than comfort, bring no peaceful contentment, because they have no connection with the real joys of life. HR November 1, 1876, par. 7
As these extravagances fail to satisfy their possessors, they blindly seek to remedy the failure by adding new luxuries, with greater dissatisfaction, and an increase of care and anxiety as a result. Decorations of dress and of houses do not make happy people; but the lowliest dwelling may be beautified, and the poorest family be made rich, by the possession of meekness, kindness, and love. Pleasant voices, gentle manners, and sincere affection that finds expression in all the actions, make even a hovel the happiest of homes, upon which the Creator looks with approbation, unto which angels are attracted, the inmates of which, though they have not “that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel,” have that which is far better, “the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” HR November 1, 1876, par. 8