One about to marry a wife should stop to consider candidly why he takes this step. Is his wife to be his helper, his companion, his equal, or will he pursue toward her such a course that she cannot have an eye single to the glory of God? Will he venture to give loose rein to his passions and see how much care and taxation he can subject his wife to without extinguishing life, or will he study the meaning of the words, “Whatsoever ye do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus?”—Manuscript 152, 1899, 1. (“The Temple of God Must Be Holy,” October 31, 1899.) 8MR 429.1
I understand that you have desired to have my judgment in regard to matters that trouble you in reference to marriage with Brother _____'s daughter. I understand that the father of the one upon whom you have placed your affection is not willing that his daughter should connect with you in marriage. While I would feel due sympathy for you because of your disappointment, I would say that who should feel interested in his own child more than her own father, and also her mother? The very fact of your urgency of this matter against the wishes of the parents is evidence that the Spirit of God has not the first place in your heart and a controlling power upon your life. You have a strong will, a firm, persistent determination to carry out anything you have entered upon. 8MR 429.2
Will my brother please look to his own spirit and criticize his motives and see if he has a single eye in this matter to act in all things for the glory of God? I was shown the cases of several in _____ who were very much exercised upon the subject of marriage, that they had their minds so fully engrossed with this subject that they were disqualifying themselves to do the work God would have them to do. Some of these were in _____, but not all. There were several in other places. From what I learn of your case, you must be one of these, for one was presented before me who would not submit to any objections to his marriage. He was a young man of determined will but this persistency of will he interpreted as an evidence that his plans and purposes were right when he was deceived in himself. 8MR 429.3
Now, my brother, will you show that you want your will to be in subjection to the will of God?—Letter 25, 1885. (To Brother V., December 16, 1885.) 8MR 430.1
Released October 26, 1978.