It was not easy to be the messenger of the Lord, for often the witness that must be borne cut across the path of others or pointed out a course of action that was not right. This was particularly so in meeting the inroads of fanaticism in 1845. Ellen White later wrote: 1BIO 93.1
It was a great cross for me to relate to individuals what had been shown me concerning their wrongs. It caused me great distress to see others troubled or grieved. And when obliged to declare the messages, I often softened them down, and related them as favorably for the individual as I could, and then would go by myself and weep in agony of spirit. I looked upon those who had only their own souls to care for, and thought if I were in their condition I would not murmur. 1BIO 93.2
It was hard to relate the plain, cutting testimonies given me of God. I anxiously watched the result, and if the individual reproved rose up against the reproof, and afterwards opposed the truth, these queries would arise in my mind: Did I deliver the message just as I should? Oh, God! could there not have been some way to save them? And then such distress hung upon my soul, that I often felt death would be a welcome messenger, and the grave a sweet resting place.—Life Sketches of James White and Ellen G. White (1880), 222. 1BIO 93.3