—I have passed an almost sleepless night, and would say this morning that the selfish and ambitious words I have spoken in regard to the work, represent only momentary attitudes toward it; for the undercurrent of my mind is not in the channel of seeking glory for myself. I am tempted at times; but were the opportunity presented alongside with the good that I might do in working on your writings, I believe I would do as I have in the past, choose the work in preference to the opportunity to display self. You say I do not understand myself, therefore I may be mistaken. The year I was at Ann Arbor, I earned $200.000 [?] by own pen. And I did not come with you for the sake of anything except to do what I thought was God’s will. FBS 18.1
Bro. White has said in reference to the work that I have done full work, as much as any one would have done, and though I plead no excuse for my shameful failures, I would say that many of the mistakes and grievances I have committed, would have been less probably if I had been in better condition of body. I know if I had clung to Jesus, I would have found His grace sufficient. [rest of letter missing] FBS 18.2