(Written to “Dear Husband,” May 16, 1876, from Oakland, California.)
It grieves me that I have said or written anything to grieve you. Forgive me and I will be cautious not to start any subject to annoy and distress you. We are living in a most solemn time and we cannot afford to have in our old age [Ellen White was 48 years of age and her husband was 54 when this letter was written.] differences to separate our feelings. I may not view all things as you do, but I do not think it would be my place or duty to try to make you see as I see and feel as I feel. Wherein I have done this, I am sorry. 20MR 23.1
I want a humble heart, a meek and quiet spirit. Wherein my feelings have been permitted to arise in any instance, it was wrong. Jesus has said, “Learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29). 20MR 23.2
I wish that self should be hid in Jesus. I wish self to be crucified. I do not claim infallibility, or even perfection of Christian character. I am not free from mistakes and errors in my life. Had I followed my Saviour more closely, I should not have to mourn so much my unlikeness to His dear image. 20MR 23.3
Time is short, very short. Life is uncertain. We know not when our probation may close. If we walk humbly before God, He will let us end our labors with joy. No more shall a line be traced by me or expression made in my letter to distress you. Again I say, forgive me every word or act that has grieved you. 20MR 23.4
I have earnestly prayed for light in reference to going east and I have now decided my work is here, to write and do those things that the Spirit of God shall dictate. I am seeking earnestly for the higher life. Mary and myself are at work as hard as we can. God in His providence has given me my work. I dare not leave it. We will pray that God may sustain you, but I see no light for me east.—Letter 27, 1876. 20MR 23.5
Ellen G. White Estate
Washington, D. C.,
January 22, 1989.
Entire Letter.