Lt 65, 1876
Hall, Lucinda
Oakland, California
May 12, 1876
The letter is published in entirety in DG 268.
Dear Sister Lucinda:
I wish you would write some news. Write often.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 1
I have decided to remain here, and not attend any of the camp meetings. I dare not go east without an assurance that God would have me go. I am perfectly willing to go if the light shines that way. But the Lord knows what is best for me, for James, and the cause of God. My husband is now happy—blessed news. If he will only remain happy, I would be willing to ever remain from him. If my presence is detrimental to his happiness, God forbid I should be connected with him. I will do my work as God leads me. He may do his work as God leads him. We will not get in each other’s way. My heart is fixed, trusting in God. I shall wait for God to open my way before me.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 2
I do not think my husband really desires my society. He would be glad for me to be present at the camp meetings, but he has such views of me, which he freely has expressed from time to time, that I do not feel happy in his society, and I never can till he views matters entirely differently. He charges a good share of his unhappiness upon me, when he has made it himself by his own lack of self-control. These things exist, and I cannot be in harmony with him till he views things differently. He has said too much for me to feel freedom with him in prayer or to unite with him in labor, therefore as time passes and he removes nothing out of my way, my duty is plain never to place myself where he will be tempted to act out his feelings and talk them out as he has done. I cannot, and will not, be crippled as I have been.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 3
To the Readers of Letters 64, 65, 66, 67, 1876 (Written May 10, 12, 16, 17, 1876)
[.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 4
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“I wish I could see you, Lucinda. ... How I have missed you on this journey. Not but that I have friends, but you are nearest and dearest, next to my own family, and I feel no differences than that you belonged to me and my blood flowed in your veins.”—Lt 48, 1875 Manuscript Releases, 781.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 6
3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 7
“I am sorry I wrote you the letters I have. Whatever may have been my feelings, I need not have troubled you with them. Burn all my letters, and I will relate no matters that perplex me to you. ... I will not be guilty of uttering a word again, whatever may be the circumstances. Silence in all things of a disagreeable or perplexing character has ever been a blessing to me. When I have departed from this, I have regretted it so much.”—Lt 67, 1876.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 8
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The Setting of the Letters
“I have not lost my love for my husband, but I cannot explain things.”—Lt 67, 1876. “I can but dread the liability of James’ changeable moods.”—Lt 64, 1876. 3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 11
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“It grieves me that I have said or written anything to grieve you. Forgive me and I will be cautious not to start any subject to annoy and distress you.”—Lt 27, 1876.3LtMs, Lt 65, 1876, par. 22
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