I have had a restless night, but thank the Lord I am not sick. The burden of my soul is to prepare the many things that have been already written, that they may come before the people and make the impression upon the minds of the readers that the Lord would have made.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 1

February 13, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena, California

I awoke at half-past two o’clock a.m. I arose and made my fire and then commended myself to God in prayer; and I do believe if we will humble our hearts before Him and seek Him with all our hearts, He will be found of us. I am thankful to my heavenly Father for rest in sleep. I retired at eight o’clock p.m. I was awake quarter-past two o’clock, and I will proceed to write further concerning the dangers threatening the people of God and what has kept the work in confusion for some years.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 2

February 13, 1905

Elmshaven, Sanitarium, California

I cannot sleep after quarter-of two o’clock a.m. I have presented to me at this time the necessity of all, who believe the truth, practicing economy in all our buildings and in the furnishing of our houses. Our sanitariums require conveniences that are actually a necessity and cost money to prepare. There will be sanitariums erected in various cities of the South. This is a work that requires the best of talent.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 3

March 3, 1905

St. Helena Sanitarium

The past night has been a very trying one to me. After half-past eleven o'clock I could not sleep. Left my bed at four o'clock. I presented my case before the Lord, and with all my heart I prayed for the healing power of God to remove from me the infirmities which were keeping me from doing the work that burdened my mind.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 4

Oh, my Saviour, we must have a power which Thou, my Saviour, hath promised to give us in this Thy great work that is to be done. My physical strength is gone, my courage weak. I long after Thee, Lord Jesus, the great Medical Missionary Worker, to strengthen my courage; for I tremble before Thee, lest I shall in my weakness fail in emergencies where I must be a success.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 5

I know I can say, Thou, Lord, hath made me Thy messenger. Thou, Lord, hast laid upon me great responsibilities in various lines, and I am grieving my soul because of my physical weakness. Thou hast commissioned me to speak the words Thou hast given me and declare with pen and with voice the things Thou hast shown me. I have tried and am trying to do this in messages of reproof, messages of warning, and also messages of encouragement; but my hope is failing, that those who are departing from the faith will receive the messages.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 6

Grant, oh Lord, that I shall be truly strong in the strength Thou shalt give me, to make clear the representations and figures presented in the power of Thy Spirit, that those who are out of the way may be convicted and return to Thy way. I must have physical strength to carry these important burdens. I must have daily a sense of Thy favor, for I am hungering and thirsting after Thy righteousness.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 7

I am relieved. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. I am rejoicing in the peace of Christ. Hope is strengthening me that this day shall not be as the many days that are past for several weeks—with a tired brain, a burdened heart. Show me Thy ways, oh my Lord. I thank Thee, Lord, that Thy peace and courage have come to me.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 8

I have been able to read and prepare most excellent matter for Oakwood school. I must have courage in the Lord and not faint when I see that the very men who ought to be a help and to be true guides are being misguided by the many, many words and sentiments coming from mind and voice in night sessions. Oh, will he [J. H. Kellogg] ever understand that the enemy has been working to deceive him in order that he shall put his deceiving science into other minds? This now is my burden, that men are so perplexed with the influence going forth from J. H. K. that they are partakers of his deceiving theories; and notwithstanding all the warnings God has given, they will take up with his specious devising. May the Lord awaken him before it shall be everlastingly too late!20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 9

March 5, 1905

St. Helena Sanitarium, California

No sleep for me through the night hours until after one o’clock. Awakened at four a.m. I take my pen in hand to trace the exercises of my mind. I lost myself in sleep a short period of time after retiring. I was standing before an audience, speaking to them. The Holy Spirit was upon me. I was relating to the people the necessity of holding the beginning of our confidence firmly to the end. I arose and began to write.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 10

I have come to the narrative in our history when two buildings are now, through much labor, prepared to begin their work in Los Angeles and in Paradise Valley. These places need the very best kind of work done in them, and they can only be a success as their dependence is placed in the Lord God of Israel. We are now to feel that to us are committed the oracles of God, and we must make it our very first work to adorn the doctrine we claim to believe, with a well-ordered life and godly conversation. Self, yes, the self of every soul must no longer strive for the mastery. Christ’s character in us must appear as the one altogether perfect in every respect, and His children are to grow up into Christ their living Head. His mind must be revealed through the mind and behaviour of His witnesses. Self must be exercised in good works after the example given in the life of Christ. There is to be no striving for the mastery. Oh, how my mind is drawn out and exercised in regard to the work to be done! And if self will be hid with Christ in God, then all the pettishness of self will die, and Christ, with all the excellencies of His character, will be formed within, “the hope of glory.” [Colossians 1:27.] Holy angels in heaven are gazing with pitiful eyes upon the company of workers struggling among themselves to do something, but not laying hold of the One who declared in His resurrected body, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you; and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” [Matthew 28:19, 20.]20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 11

March 6, 1905

St. Helena Sanitarium, California

Yesterday was a hard day for me. The wakeful hours passed from one o’clock until six o’clock a.m. I slept and my mind was revived with an intensity that is not easily described as I review the light God has given me of the unworked fields. And those who know the truth are represented like the sleeping virgins. Half are represented as wise enough to shake off their sleep, arise, and trim their lamps, while half, professing godliness, have lamps—their Bibles—and not the oil of grace to make use of the lamps to decide to obey the truth. While they begin to see their defects, they will buy of the wise virgins, or borrow from them; but before they can obtain what they seek, the bridegroom comes, and the chance to trim their lamps and enter into the joy of going into the marriage supper has gone. God calls for those who have lamps to trim them, obtain the oil of grace—the Holy Spirit, refresh their lamps, and reflect the light with rejoicing.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 12

I cannot sleep past one o’clock this morning. I have very much to say, and I am trying to add the oil that Christ is ever wanting to supply, that the light shall shine forth amid the moral darkness; but I dare not even give oil in helping others with that oil, for they would not appreciate it. I remember the words of Christ, “I have many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” [John 16:12.]20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 13

In the visions of the night, I am represented as being in new companies, bearing a straightforward testimony. I am giving the last testing message to the world. The Lord is willing to impart His grace to everyone who seeks it with a humble heart and contrite spirit, wide-awake withal to make the best use of the powers God has given to each. I am so burdened with the spiritual condition of those who should be the light of the world, shining amid the moral darkness of error.20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 14

Heaven is full of blessings. The Lord Jesus is inviting every soul: “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” [Matthew 11:28, 29.] “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” [Matthew 7:7.] A threefold assurance if you will be in earnest to ask, to seek, and to knock. Will you do this?20LtMs, Ms 174, 1905, par. 15

Ms 173, 1905

Ms 175, 1905