Abraham had become an old man, yet one thing remained for him to do. God had appointed Isaac as the next keeper of the divine law and the father of the chosen people, but he was still unmarried.1TC 101.2

The Canaanites were idol worshipers, and God had forbidden marriages between them and His people, knowing that such marriages would lead to abandoning their faith. Isaac was gentle and yielding. If he united with someone who did not fear God, he would be in danger of sacrificing principle for the sake of harmony. To Abraham, the choice of a wife for his son was extremely important, and he was anxious to have Isaac marry someone who would not lead him away from God.1TC 101.3

In ancient times, marriage engagements were generally made by the parents, and this was the custom among those who worshiped God. None were required to marry those whom they could not love, but the youth were guided by the judgment of their God-fearing parents. It was a dishonor to parents, even a crime, to act contrary to this.1TC 102.1

Trusting his father, Isaac was satisfied to commit the matter to him, believing also that God Himself would direct in the choice made. Abraham’s thoughts turned to his father’s relatives in Mesopotamia. They were not free from idolatry, but they had a knowledge of the true God. Isaac must not go to them, but it might be that one could be found among them who would leave her home and unite with him in maintaining the pure worship of the living God.1TC 102.2

Abraham committed the important matter to Eliezer, his “oldest servant,” a man of experience and sound judgment who had served him long and faithfully. He insisted that this servant make a solemn oath that he would not take a wife for Isaac from the Canaanites but would choose a maiden from the family of Nahor in Mesopotamia. If a young woman could not be found who would leave her home and family, then the messenger would be released from his oath. Abraham encouraged him with the assurance that God would crown his mission with success. “The Lord God of heaven,” he said, “who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family ... He will send His angel before you.”1TC 102.3

The messenger set out without delay. Taking ten camels for his own attendants and the bridal party that might return with him as well as gifts for the intended wife and friends, he made the long journey beyond Damascus to the plains that border on the Euphrates, the great river of the East.1TC 102.4

When he arrived at Haran, “the city of Nahor,” he stopped outside the walls near the well where the women came at evening for water. His thoughts troubled him. Far-reaching results, not only to his master’s household but to future generations, might follow from the choice he made. Remembering that God would send His angel with him, he prayed for clear guidance. In his master’s family he was accustomed to constant kindness and hospitality, and now he asked that an act of courtesy might indicate the maiden whom God had chosen.1TC 102.5

Hardly had he uttered the prayer before the answer was given. Among the women at the well, the courteous manners of one attracted his attention. As she came from the well, the stranger went to meet her, asking for some water from the pitcher on her shoulder. The request received a kind answer, and she offered to draw water for the camels also.1TC 103.1

Thus the sign that he had asked for was given. The young woman “was very beautiful to behold,” and her prompt courtesy gave evidence of a kind heart and an active, energetic nature. So far the divine hand had been with him. The messenger asked whose daughter she was, and when he learned that her father was Bethuel, Abraham’s nephew, he “bowed down his head, and worshiped the Lord.”1TC 103.2

The man told the young woman about his connection with Abraham. Returning home, she told what had happened, and Laban, her brother, at once hurried to bring the stranger to share their hospitality.1TC 103.3

Eliezer would not eat any food until he had told them about his errand, his prayer at the well, and all the circumstances that went with it. Then he said, “Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me. And if not, tell me, that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.” The answer was, “The thing comes from the Lord; we cannot speak to you either bad or good. Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.”1TC 103.4

Rebekah Believes God Has Spoken

Rebekah herself was asked whether she was willing to go so great a distance from her father’s house to marry the son of Abraham. She believed that God had selected her to be Isaac’s wife, and said, “I will go.”1TC 103.5

The servant, anticipating his master’s joy, was impatient to be gone, and when morning came they set out on the homeward journey. Abraham was living at Beersheba, and Isaac, who had been tending the flocks in the adjoining country, had returned to his father’s tent to wait for the messenger from Haran. “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field in the evening; and he lifted his eyes and looked, and there, the camels were coming. Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; for she had said to the servant, ‘Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?’ The servant said, ‘It is my master.’ So she took a veil and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”1TC 104.1

Abraham had noticed the result of intermarriage between those who feared God and those who did not, from the days of Cain to his own time. His own marriage with Hagar and the marriage connections of Ishmael and Lot were before him. Abraham’s influence on his son Ishmael was counteracted by the influence of Hagar’s idolatrous relatives and by Ishmael’s connection with heathen wives. The jealousy of Hagar and of the wives whom she chose for Ishmael surrounded his family with a barrier that Abraham tried to overcome, but could not.1TC 104.2

Abraham’s early teachings had not failed to have an effect on Ishmael, but the influence of his wives resulted in establishing idolatry in his family. Separated from his father and embittered by the strife and contention of a home that lacked the love and fear of God, Ishmael was driven to choose the wild, plundering life of a desert chief, “his hand ... against every man, and every man’s hand against him” (Genesis 16:12). In later life he repented and returned to his father’s God, but the stamp of character given to his descendents remained. The powerful nation that came from him were a turbulent, heathen people.1TC 104.3

The wife of Lot was a selfish, irreligious woman, and she worked to separate her husband from Abraham. If he could have had his way, Lot would not have stayed in Sodom. The influence of his wife and the associations of that wicked city would have led him to apostatize from God if it had not been for the faithful instruction he had received in his youth from Abraham.1TC 104.4

It is dangerous for one who respects God to connect himself with one who does not respect Him. “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3). The happiness and prosperity of marriage depends on the unity of the parties; but there is a radical difference of tastes, inclinations, and purposes between the believer and the unbeliever. However pure and correct one’s principles, the influence of an unbelieving companion will tend to lead away from God.1TC 105.1

Those who have entered marriage while unconverted and are later converted are under stronger obligation to be faithful to their companions, no matter how they may differ in religious faith. Yet the claims of God should be honored above every earthly relationship, even if this brings trials and persecution. The spirit of love and faithfulness may win the unbelieving one, but marriage with the ungodly is forbidden in the Bible. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14, 17, 18).1TC 105.2

Before One Marries

Isaac was the heir of the promises through which the world was to be blessed; yet when he was forty years old he let his father choose a wife for him. And the result of that marriage is a tender and beautiful picture of happiness at home: “Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”1TC 105.3

Young people too often feel that selecting a life partner is something about which they should only consult themselves. They think they are fully qualified to make their own choice, without the aid of their parents. A few years of married life usually show them their error, but too late. The same lack of wisdom and self-control that dictated the hasty choice makes matters worse, until marriage becomes a bitter burden. This is the way that many wreck their happiness in this life and their hope of the life to come.1TC 105.4

If ever the Bible was needed as a counselor, if ever divine guidance should be sought in prayer, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life.1TC 106.1

Parents should never lose sight of their responsibility for the future happiness of their children. While Abraham required his children to respect parental authority, his daily life testified that this authority was not selfish or arbitrary, but was rooted in love and had their well-being and happiness in view.1TC 106.2

Fathers and mothers should guide the affections of youth so that they may place those affections on suitable companions. Mold the character of the children from their earliest years so that they will be pure and noble, attracted to the good and true. If love for truth, purity, and goodness is implanted in the soul early, the youth will seek to be around others who possess these characteristics.1TC 106.3

Parents, try to be like our heavenly Father, who is love. Let your home be full of sunshine—this will be worth more to your children than lands or money. Let your home love be kept alive in their hearts so that they may look back on the home of their childhood as a place of peace and happiness next to heaven.1TC 106.4

True love is a high and holy principle, entirely different from that love which flashes up quickly but suddenly dies when severely tested. In their parents’ home youth are to prepare themselves for homes of their own. Here they should practice self-denial, kindness, courtesy, and Christian sympathy.1TC 106.5

The young man who goes out from such a household to stand at the head of a family will know how to promote the happiness of her whom he has chosen as a companion for life. Marriage, instead of being the end of love, will only be its beginning.1TC 106.6

The Sin of Sodom and Gomorrah

Jacob and Esau