Chapter 10—Dangers of the Young

June 6, 1863, I was shown some of the dangers of the young. Satan is controlling the minds of youth, and leading their inexperienced feet astray. The youth are ignorant of his devices, and parents should be awake, and in these perilous times work with perseverance and industry, to shut out the first approach of the foe. They should instruct their children when they go out and when they come in, when they rise up, and when they sit down. It should be line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.4bSG 132.2

The mother's work commences with the infant. She should subdue the will and temper of the child, and bring its disposition into subjection. Learn it to obey. As the child grows older, relax not the hand. Every mother should take time to reason with the child, to correct its errors, and patiently teach it the right way. Christian parents should know that they are instructing and fitting their children to become children of God. The whole religious experience of the children is influenced by the instructions given, and character formed, in childhood. If the child's will is not subdued and made to yield in childhood to the will of the parents, then what a task! What a severe struggle! What a conflict, to yield that will which never was subdued, to the requirements of God! Parents who neglect this important work, commit a great error, and sin against their poor children, and against God. Children, while under strict discipline, will at times have dissatisfied feelings. They will feel impatient under restraint, and will wish to have their own will, and go and come as they please. And they will often feel, from the ages of ten to eighteen, that there would be no harm in going to picnics and other gatherings of young associates; yet their experienced parents can see danger. They are acquainted with the peculiar temperaments of their children, and know the influence of these things upon their minds, and in reference to their salvation, keep them back from these exciting amusements.4bSG 132.3

When these children decide to leave the pleasures of the world themselves, and choose to be Christ's disciples, what a burden is lifted from the hearts of careful, faithful parents. Yet even then the labor of the parents must not cease. The children then should not be left to take their own course, and always choose for themselves. They have then just commenced the warfare in earnest against sin, pride, passion, envy, jealousy, hatred, and all the evils of the natural heart. And parents need to watch and counsel their children, and decide for them, and show them that if they do not yield cheerful, willing obedience to their parents, they cannot yield willing obedience to God, and it is impossible for them to be Christians.4bSG 133.1

Parents should encourage their children to confide in them and unburden to them their heart griefs, their daily little annoyances and trials. If they do this, the parents can learn to sympathize with their children, and pray for them and with them, that God would shield and guide them. They should point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor, who will be touched with the feelings of their infirmities. He was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin.4bSG 133.2

Satan tempts children to be reserved to their parents, and choose their young and inexperienced companions as their confidants; such as cannot help them, but give them bad advice. Young girls and boys get together and chat, and laugh, and joke, and drive Christ out of their hearts, and angels from their presence, by their foolish nonsense. Unprofitable conversation upon the acts and doings of others, small talk about this young man, or that girl, withers noble, devotional thoughts or feelings, and drives good and holy desires from the heart, and leaves it cold and destitute of true love for God and his truth.4bSG 134.1

Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties, and when they are perplexed as to what course is right to lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to see and point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand the peculiar temperaments of their own children as well as they? The mother who has watched every turn of the mind from infancy, and is acquainted with the natural disposition, is best prepared to counsel her children. Who can tell as well what traits of character to check and restrain, as the mother, aided by the father?4bSG 134.2

Children who are Christians will prefer the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents above every earthly blessing. They will love and honor their parents. This should be one of the principal studies of their lives, How can I make my parents happy? Children who have not been disciplined and received right instruction, have in this rebellious age but little sense of their obligations to their parents. It is often the case the more their parents do for them the more ungrateful they are, and the less they respect them. Children that have been petted and waited upon, always expect it; and if their expectations are not met, they are disappointed and discouraged. This same disposition will be seen through their whole lives, and they will be helpless, leaning upon others for aid, expecting others to favor them, and yield to them. And if they are opposed, even after grown to manhood and womanhood, they think themselves abused; and thus they worry their way through the world, hardly able to bear their own weight, often murmuring and fretting because every thing does not suit them.4bSG 134.3

I saw that some people are learning their children lessons which will prove ruinous to them, and they are also planting thorns for their own feet. Mistaken parents have thought if they gratified the wishes of their children, and let them follow their own inclinations, they would gain their love. What a mistaken idea! what an error! Children thus disciplined, grow up unrestrained in their desires, unyielding in their dispositions, selfish, exacting, and overbearing, and are a curse to themselves and everybody around them. Parents, to a great extent, hold the future happiness of their children in their own hands. Upon them rests the important work of forming their children's character. The instructions they give them in childhood, will follow them all through their lives. Parents can sow the seed which will spring up and bear fruit either for good or evil. They can fit their sons and daughters for happiness or misery.4bSG 135.1

Children should be taught very young to be useful, to help themselves, and help others. Many daughters of this age can see their mothers toiling, cooking, washing, or ironing, while they sit without remorse of conscience in the parlor to read stories, knit edging, crotchet, or embroider. Their hearts are as unfeeling as a stone. But where does this wrong originate? Who are the ones usually to blame in this matter? The poor, deceived parents. They overlook the future good of their children, and in their mistaken fondness, let them sit in idleness, or do that which is of but little account, which requires no exercise of the mind or muscles, and excuse the indolent daughters because they are weakly. What has made them weakly? It has often been the wrong course of the parents. A proper amount of exercise about the house would improve both mind and body. But they are deprived of this through false ideas, until the children are averse to work. Work is disagreeable, and does not accord with their ideas of gentility. It is thought to be unlady-like and coarse to wash dishes, iron, or stand over the wash-tub. This is the fashionable instruction which is given children in this unfortunate age.4bSG 135.2

God's people should be governed by different principles than worldlings, who seek to gauge all their course of action according to fashion. In every instance should God-fearing parents train their children for a life of usefulness. They should not permit their principles of government to be tainted with the extravagant notions prevailing in this age, that they must conform to the fashions and be governed by the opinions of worldlings. They should not permit their children to choose their own associates. Teach them that it is your duty to choose for them. Prepare them to bear burdens when young. If your children have been unaccustomed to labor, they will soon become weary. They will complain of side-ache, pain in the shoulders, and tired limbs, and parents will be in danger through sympathy, of doing their work themselves, rather than have their children suffer a little. Let the burden upon the children be very light a first, and then increase the labors a little more every day, until they can do a proper amount of labor without becoming so weary. Inactivity is the greatest cause of side-ache and shoulder-ache among children.4bSG 136.1

There is a class of young ladies in this age who are merely useless creatures, only good to breathe, eat, wear, chat, and talk nonsense, while in their fingers they hold a bit of embroidery or crotchet. But few of the youth show real sound judgment and good common sense. They lead a butterfly life, without any special object in view. When this class of worldly associates get together, about all you can hear is a few silly remarks to one another about dress, or some frivolous matter, and then they laugh at their own remarks which they consider very bright. This is frequently done before older people, who can but feel saddened at such lack of reverence for their years. Such seem to have lost all sense of modesty and good manners. Yet the way that they have been instructed leads them to think it the height of gentility.4bSG 137.1

This spirit is like a contagious disease. God's people should choose the society for their children, and teach them to avoid the company of these vain worldlings. Mothers should take their daughters with them into the kitchen, and patiently educate them. The constitution will be better for such labor. The muscles will gain tone and strength, and their meditations will be more healthy and elevated at the close of the day. They may be weary, but how sweet is rest after a proper amount of labor. Sleep, nature's sweet restorer, invigorates the weary body, and prepares it for the next day's duties. Do not intimate to your children that it is no matter whether they labor or not. Teach them that their help is needed, that their time is of value, and that you depend on their labor.4bSG 137.2

I have been shown that much sin has resulted from idleness. Active hands and minds do not find time to heed every temptation the Enemy suggests; but idle hands and brains are all ready for Satan to control. The mind, when not properly occupied, dwells upon improper things. Parents should learn their children that idleness is sin. I was referred to Ezekiel 16:49. “Behold this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness, was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hands of the poor and needy.”4bSG 137.3

Children should feel that they are indebted to their parents, who have watched over them in their infancy, and nursed them in sickness. They should realize that their parents have suffered much anxiety on their account. Especially have conscientious, godly parents felt the deepest interest that their children should take a right course. As they have seen faults in their children, how heavy have been their hearts. If the children who caused those hearts to ache could see the effect of their course, they would certainly relent. If they could see their mother's tears, and hear her prayers to God in their behalf, if they could listen to her suppressed and broken sighs, their hearts would feel, and they would speedily confess their wrongs and ask to be forgiven. There is a work to be accomplished for old and young. Parents should better qualify themselves to more fully discharge their duty to their children. Some parents do not understand their children, and are not really acquainted with them. There is often a great distance between parents and children. If parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children, and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial influence upon them.4bSG 138.1

Parents should deal faithfully with the souls committed to their trust. They should not encourage in them pride, extravagance or love of show. They should not teach them, nor suffer them to learn, little pranks which appear cunning in small children, which they have to unlearn and correct them for, when they are older. Habits formed when very young, are not easily forgotten. Parents should commence to discipline the minds of their children while very young, to the end that they may be Christians. Let all your efforts be for their salvation. Act as though they were placed in your care to be fitted as precious jewels to shine in the kingdom of God. Beware how you lull your children to sleep over the pit of destruction, with the mistaken thought that they are not old enough to be accountable, and are not old enough to repent of their sins and profess Christ.4bSG 138.2

I was referred to the many precious promises on record for those who seek their Saviour early. Ecclesiastes 12:1. “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them.” Proverbs 8:17. “I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me.” The great Shepherd of Israel is still saying, “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of Heaven.” Teach your children that youth is the best time to seek the Lord. Their young minds are not harassed with care, and the burdens of life are not heavy upon them, and while so free they should devote the best of their strength to God.4bSG 139.1

We are living in an unfortunate age for children. A heavy current is setting downward to perdition, and it needs more than childhood's experience and strength to press against this current, and not be borne down by it. Satan and his angels are leading the youth generally to certain destruction. They seem to be his captives. Satan and his angels are warring against the government of God, and all who have a desire to yield their hearts to him and obey his requirements, Satan will try to perplex, and overcome with his temptations, that they may become discouraged and give up the warfare.4bSG 139.2

Parents, help your children. Arouse from the lethargy which has been upon you. Watch continually to cut off the current, and roll back the weight of evil Satan is pressing in upon your children. The children cannot do this of themselves. Parents can do much. By earnest prayer and living faith, great victories will be gained. Some parents have not realized the responsibilities resting upon them, and have neglected the religious education of their children. In the morning the Christian's first thoughts should be upon God. Worldly labor and self-interest should be secondary. Before leaving the house for labor, all the family should be collected together, and taught that they must respect and reverence the hour of prayer. The father, or mother in the father's absence, should with humility and a heart full of tenderness, with a sense of the temptations and dangers before themselves and their children, plead fervently before God that he would keep the children through the day. By faith bind your children upon the altar, entreating for them the care of the Lord. Ministering angels will guard children who are thus dedicated to God. It is the duty of Christian parents, morning and evening, by earnest prayer and persevering faith, to make a hedge about their children. They should patiently instruct them-kindly and untiringly teach them how to live in order to please God.4bSG 139.3

Impatience in the parent excites impatience in the children. Passion manifested by the parents, creates passion in the children, and stirs up the evils of their nature. Some parents correct their children severely with a spirit of impatience, and often in passion. Such corrections produce no good result. In seeking to correct one evil, they create two. Continual censuring and whipping hardens children, and weans them from their parents. Parents should first learn to control themselves; then they can more successfully control their children. Every time they lose self-control, and speak and act impatiently, they sin against God. They should first reason with their children, clearly point out their wrongs, show them their sin, and impress upon them that they have not only sinned against them, but against God. With your heart subdued and full of pity and sorrow for your erring children, pray with them, before correcting them. Then your correction will not cause your children to hate you. They will love you. They will see that you do not punish them because they have put you to inconvenience, or because you wish to vent your displeasure upon them; but from a sense of duty for their good, that they may not be left to grow up in sin and wickedness.4bSG 140.1

Some parents have failed to give their children a religious education, and have also neglected their school education. Neither should have been neglected. Children's minds will be active. If not engaged in physical labor, or occupied with study, they will be exposed to bad influences. It is sin for parents to suffer their children to grow up in ignorance. They should be supplied with useful and interesting books. They should be learned to work, and have hours for physical labor, and hours to devote to study and reading.4bSG 141.1

Parents should seek to elevate the minds of their children. They should cultivate their intellect, and strive to improve their mental faculties. The mind left to itself uncultivated will be generally low, sensual, and corrupt. Satan improves his opportunity, and educates idle minds.4bSG 141.2

Parents, the recording angel writes every impatient, fretful word you utter to your children. Every failure on your part to give your children proper instruction, and show them the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the final result of a sinful course, is marked against your name. Every unguarded word spoken before your children carelessly, or in jest, not chaste and elevated, the recording angel marks as a spot against your Christian character. All your acts are recorded, whether they are good or bad.4bSG 141.3

Parents cannot succeed well in the government of their children until they first have perfect government and control over themselves. They must first learn to subdue themselves, and control their words, and the very expression of the countenance. They should not suffer the tones of their voice to be disturbed or agitated with excitement and passion. Then they can have a decided influence over their children.4bSG 141.4

Children may wish to do right; they may purpose in their hearts to be obedient and kind to their parents or guardians; but they need help and encouragement from them. They may have good resolutions, but unless their principles are strengthened by religion, and their lives influenced by the renewing grace of God, they will fail to come up to the mark.4bSG 141.5

Parents should redouble their efforts for the salvation of their children. They should faithfully instruct them, and not leave them to gather up their education as best they can. They should not be left to learn good and bad indiscriminately, with the idea that at some future time the good will predominate, and the evil lose its influence. The evil will increase faster than the good. It is possible the evil they have learned might be eradicated after many years; but who will venture this? Time is short. It is easier and much safer to sow clean and good seed in the hearts of your children, than to pluck up the weeds afterward. It is the parents’ duty to watch lest surrounding influence have an injurious effect upon their children. It is their duty to select the society for them, and not suffer them to choose for themselves. If parents do not do this work, who will? Can others have that interest for your children which you should have? Can they have that constant care and deep love that parents have?4bSG 142.1

Sabbath-keeping children may become impatient of restraint, and think their parents too strict; and hard feelings may even arise in their hearts, and discontented, unhappy thoughts may be cherished by them against those who are working for their present, their future and eternal good. But if life should be spared a few years, they will bless their parents for their strict care and faithful watchfulness over them in their years of inexperience. Parents should explain and simplify the plan of salvation to their children, that their young minds may comprehend it. Children of eight, ten, or twelve years of age, are old enough to be addressed on the subject of personal religion. Do not teach your children with reference to some future period, when they shall be old enough to repent and believe the truth. Very young children, if properly instructed, may have correct views of their state as sinners, and of the way of salvation through Christ. Ministers are generally too indifferent to the salvation of children, and are not personal as they should be. Golden opportunities to impress the minds of children frequently pass without being improved.4bSG 142.2

The bad influence around our children is almost overpowering; corrupting their minds and leading them down to perdition. The minds of youth are naturally given to folly, and at an early age, before their characters are formed, and their judgment matured, they frequently manifest preference for associates who will have an injurious influence over them. Some form attachments for the other sex, and disregard the wishes and entreaties of their parents, and break the fifth commandment, by thus dishonoring them. It is the duty of parents to watch the going out and coming in of their children. They should encourage them, and present inducements before them which will attract them at home, and lead them to see that their parents are interested for them. They should make home pleasant and cheerful. Speak kindly to your children. Fathers and mothers, remember how sensitive you are, how little you can bear to be blamed. Reflect, and know that your children are like you. That which you cannot bear, don't lay upon your children. If you cannot bear censure and blame, neither can your children who are weaker than you, and cannot endure as much. Let your pleasant, cheerful words ever be like sunbeams in your family. The fruits of self-control, thoughtfulness, and pains-taking on your part, will be an hundred-fold.4bSG 143.1

No father or mother has any right to sadden and bring a gloomy cloud over their children's happiness, by fault-finding, or severe censure for little mistakes and trifles. Actual wrong and sin should be made to appear just as sinful as it is, and a decided, firm course should be pursued to prevent the recurrence of similar sins and wrongs. Impress them with a sense of their wrongs. Don't leave them in a hopeless state of mind. Leave upon their minds a degree of courage that they can improve and gain your confidence and approval.4bSG 143.2

Some parents mistake in giving their children too much liberty. They sometimes have so much confidence in them that they do not see their faults. It is wrong to allow children, at some expense, to visit at a distance, unaccompanied by their parents or guardians. It has a wrong influence upon the children. They feel that they are of considerable consequence, and that certain privileges belong to them, and if not granted them, they think themselves abused. They refer to children who go and come, and have many privileges, while they have so few. And the mother fears that the children will think her unjust unless she gratifies their wishes, which in the end proves a great injury to the children. Impressions are often received by the young visitors, who have not a parent's watchful eye over them to see and correct their faults, which will take months to do away. I was referred to cases where parents have had good, obedient children, and have had the utmost confidence in certain families, and trusted their children to go from them at a distance to visit them, which has caused an entire change from that time in the deportment and character of their children. Formerly they were contended and happy at home, and had no great desire to be much in the company of other young people. When they return to their parents, restraint seems unjust, and home is like a prison to them. Such unwise movements of parents decide the character of their children.4bSG 144.1

Some children by thus visiting, form attachments which prove their ruin in the end. Parents should keep their children with them if they can, and should watch them with the deepest solicitude.4bSG 144.2

When you let your children visit away from you at a distance, they feel that they are old enough to take care of, and choose for themselves. When the young are thus left to themselves, their conversation is often upon things which will not refine or elevate them, nor increase their love for the things of religion. The more they are permitted to visit, the greater will be their desire to go, and the less attractive will home be to them.4bSG 144.3

Children, God has seen fit to entrust you to the care of your parents, for them to instruct, discipline, and act their part in forming your character for heaven. And yet it rests with you to say whether you will develop a good Christian character by making the best of the advantages you have had from godly, faithful, praying parents. Notwithstanding all the anxiety and faithfulness of parents in behalf of their children, they alone cannot save them. There is a work for the children to do. Every child will have an individual case of his or her own to attend to. Believing parents have a responsible work before them, to guide the footsteps of their children, even in their religious experience. When your children truly love God, they will bless and reverence their parents for the care which they have manifested for them, and their faithfulness in restraining their desires and subduing their wills.4bSG 145.1

The prevailing influence in the world is to suffer the youth to follow the natural turn of their minds. And if very wild in youth, parents say they will come right after a while, and when sixteen or eighteen years of age, reason for themselves, and leave off their wrong habits, and become at last useful men and women. What a mistake! They permit an enemy for years to sow the garden of the heart. Suffer wrong principles to grow in the heart, and with all the labor afterward bestowed on that soil, in many cases it will avail nothing. Satan is an artful, persevering workman. He is a deadly foe. He takes advantage of every incautious word spoken to the injury of youth, whether in flattery, or to cause them to look upon some sin with less abhorrence. Satan nourishes the bad seed, that it may take root and yield a bountiful harvest. Some parents have suffered their children to form characters, the marks of which may be seen all through life. Upon their parents lies this sin. They may profess to be Christians, yet without a special work of grace upon the heart, and a thorough reform in life, their past habits will be seen in all their experience, and they will exhibit just the character their parents allowed them to form.4bSG 145.2

On account of the standard of piety being so low among professed Christians generally, it is much more laborious and trying for those who wish to follow Christ in sincerity. The influence of worldly professors is injurious to the young. The mass of professed Christians have removed the line of distinction between Christians and the world. And while they profess to be living for Christ, they are living for the world. Their faith has but little restraining influence upon their pleasures. While they profess to be children of the light, they walk in darkness and are children of the night and of darkness. Those who walk in darkness cannot love God, and sincerely desire to glorify him. They are not enlightened to discern the excellence of heavenly things, and therefore cannot truly love them. They profess to be Christians because it is considered honorable, and there is no cross for them to bear. Their motives are often selfish. Some such professors can enter the ball-room, and unite with all the amusements which it affords. Others cannot go quite to such a length as this, yet they can attend parties of pleasure, picnics, donation-parties, and exhibitions. And the most discerning Christian would fail to detect in such professed Christians one mark of his or her Christianity. One would fail to see any difference in their appearance from the greatest unbeliever. The profligate, and open scoffer of religion, and the openly profane, all mingle together as one. And God regards them as one in spirit and practice.4bSG 146.1

A profession of Christianity without corresponding faith and works, will avail nothing. No man can serve two masters. The children of the wicked One are their own master's servants, and to whom they yield themselves servants to obey, his servants they are. Until they renounce the Devil and all his works, they cannot be the servants of God. It cannot be harmless for servants of the heavenly King to engage in the pleasures and amusements which Satan's servants engage in, even if they often repeat that such amusements are harmless. God has revealed sacred and holy truths, to separate his people from the ungodly, and purify them unto himself. Seventh-day Adventists should live out their faith. Those who obey the ten commandments, view the state of the world and religious things from altogether a different stand-point from professors who are lovers of pleasures, who shun the cross, and are living in violation of the fourth commandment. In the present state of things in society, the task is no easy one, for parents to restrain their children, and instruct them according to the Bible rule of right. Professors of religion have so departed from the word of God, that when his people return to his sacred word, and would train their children according to its precepts, and like Abraham of old command their households after them; the poor children with such an influence around them think their parents unnecessarily exacting and over-careful, in regard to their associates. They naturally desire to follow the example of worldly, pleasure-loving professors.4bSG 146.2

In these days, persecution and reproach for Christ's sake, are scarcely known. But very little self-denial and sacrifice is necessary in order to put on a form of godliness, and have the name upon a church book. But to live in such a manner that our ways will be pleasing to God, and our names registered in the book of life, will require watchfulness and prayer, self-denial and sacrifice on our part. Professed Christians should be no example for the youth, only as far as they follow Christ. Right actions are unmistakable fruits of true godliness. The Judge of all the earth will give every one according as his works shall be. Children who follow Christ, have a warfare before them. They have a daily cross to bear in coming out from the world and being separate, and imitating the life of Christ.4bSG 147.1