F. E. Belden to E. G. White, Oct. 7, 1892

Belden, F. E.
C. ELDRIDGE, Pres. and Manager. U. SMITH, Vice-Pres. F. E. BELDEN, Sec. and Supt. A. R. HENRY, Treas.
Review & Herald
PUBLISHING CO.
BATTLE CREEK
CHICAGO TORONTO
ATLANTA
Battle Creek, Mich., October 7th 1892.
Mrs. E. G. White, Care “Echo” Publishing House.
N. Fitzroy, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
My Dear Aunt:

Your kind letter was received, and I thank you for your Words of reproof and admonition. In regard to the “Instructor; I have felt the need of more matter appearing in the paper which would be a real spiritual benefit to the youth. The trouble was not that we did not plan for it, as you will see by glancing over the prospectus circular which I sent you at the time that I requested you to write for the paper, but the persons to whom this line of work had been assigned, were the slowest to respond, and the paper for a time appeared to be about wholly secular in its character, But this is not what is designed, and if you have been reading the paper regularly you will have noticed that it has been continually improving in this respect. In writing to contributors I have mentioned the Importance of their furnishing matter that would be of real benefit to the youth, and not merely excellence from a literary standpoint. I wish your articles were longer, Enclosed yon will find draft for $27.50 which the Echo office will cash for you. This amount covers 11 articles which have appeared in the “Instructor” for” between June 1st and October 1st. Please state whether would prefer that we credit your account every quarter for amount due, or send draft.MMM 223.1

Hattie and myself have road with attention and interest the communication which you have cent, us, and each reading enables us to see more clearly the spirit in which they are written, and in which they should be, and are, accepted. I have also been reading article I. which you sent to Brother Eldridge, and requested that it be published. If I remember correctly this is an article which was read before quite a company of us, who were gathered in the committee room at the Tabernacle last General Conference, and I find a prayerful examination that it has not been headed. I had not supposed that I was seriously affected with a wrong spirit which originated at the Minneapolis meeting, but upon first reading of this article referred to, a few days ago. I found that there was positive unbelief in my mind concerning some things therein. I accordingly decided to spend some time examining myself on the basis that everything which the article contained was true; in other words. I decided to believe that they were although I could not see it, and second, the believing resulted in the seeing. The human mind or heart is deceitful beyond all description. I never realized this so fully as at the present time. I was first led to see that the spirit which had actuated me, had not always been the spirit of Christ, hence I began to distrust my Judgment in deciding on questions of a spiritual nature or In connection with God’s work. I do not say that I understand the application of everything referred to in these articles which you desire published but for the first time since they were written, I can say truth that I believe they apply where you have applied them, and in nearly all points to myself individually. I never felt loss satisfied with my than at present, and wish to assured that I will remove any hindrance which I have placed in the way of any part of the Lord’s work, on account of unsanctified judgment, and regret beyond expression, and seemingly beyond repair, the failures of the past. The perplexities, trials, and temptations connected with positions of trust, appear to be about 10 times as many as what our workers in the field have to meet with.MMM 224.1

In a few days I shall be giving my entire time to circulate “Bible Object Lessons and Songs for Little Ones,” and ‘while I regret leaving the office to do this, yet I feel that I have done all in my power consistently to put the work into their hands, which would have made it possible for me to remain.MMM 225.1

I trust, that we may be remembered and in your prayers, and desire your forgiveness wherein my course has been a source of grief and anxiety to you, in addition to your many other perplexities, I assuring you that the root of bitterness to which you refer, is dead, end that I never felt more free or hopeful, and at the same time less satisfied with myself, than at the present time, but I trust in Christ to attain unto the full stature of Christian character.MMM 225.2

Your nephew in hope of eternal life,
(Signed, F. E. Belden)