Lt 6, 1854

1854 Winter,¹

No place or date is given at the head of this letter, but at the end are found the words “Winter 1854.” Even though this is probably an editorial insertion, the handwriting suggests that its origin is close to the period. There is additional internal evidence that this letter was written before the Loughboroughs moved west from Rochester, New York, to Iowa in 1856. As is seen in subsequent letters from Ellen White to Mary Loughborough (see note 4 below), after their move Mary suffered for several years from being separated from relatives and friends in the Rochester area. In this letter (Lt 6), however, it seems quite clear that Mary was still living among her loved ones in Rochester, hence it was written prior to their 1856 move west.

n.p.1EGWLM 446.1

Letter to
Mary J. Loughborough.²

Identity: The only Loughboroughs mentioned in the Review during the 1850s are John N. Loughborough, a prominent minister and writer who is very frequently referred to, and his brother William K. Loughborough, who receives only occasional mention in this period. Since this letter indicates that “John” is the husband of “Sister Lougborough” it is clear that the addressee is Mary J. Loughborough.

See: Search term “Loughborough” in Words of the Pioneers.

1EGWLM 446.2

Portions of this letter are published in Ellen G. White, Manuscript Releases, vol. 10, p. 20.

1EGWLM 446.3

An appeal to Mary Loughborough to be fully supportive of her husband in his traveling ministry.1EGWLM 446.4

Dear Sister Loughborough:

The Lord shewed me that the field of your husband's labors was west, that his work was not east. I saw that the hungry sheep west must be fed and that Brother John would have trials to pass through and much to bear from opposers. When he shall have finished his errands that the Lord has sent him on and shall return home for rest and sympathy, you must be prepared to sympathize with him, and to comfort him and hold up his hands. He must not come home to be burdened and to hold up your hands, but you must be prepared to hold up his hands by kind, sympathizing words, and by your prayers.³

There are indications in this and subsequent letters to Mary Loughborough that she found it hard to be married to an itinerant preacher, especially in the early years. Mary Walker and John Loughborough had married in 1851, both aged about 19. The following year John, already a part-time preacher for the “First-day Adventists,” as he called them, became a Sabbatarian Adventist and started full-time preaching and traveling. The year 1853 must have been particularly trying for Mary. Leaving Mary at home in Rochester, New York, early that year, John embarked on a two-month itinerary with Hiram Edson through western New York and Pennsylvania. He then returned to Rochester for a few weeks before setting off again on a five-month journey through Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, and Wisconsin, coming back at the end of September. Ellen White's letter suggests that Mary was not fully prepared for this kind of sacrifice, a theme to which she returns in later letters.

For an accessible account of J. N. Loughborough's life adapted from primary sources, giving the biographical details listed above, see Adriel Chilson, ed., Miracles in My Life.

1EGWLM 446.5

I saw that his heart often suffered many pangs, that if you had been careful of your words and yielding, he would not have felt. I saw that you have not realized your duty to your husband. He has and does still fondly love you, but there has not been that tenderness on your part towards him and for him that there should be. Often things have been said which would barrow up the soul, and cause him deep sorrow; often you have talked for the sake of talking, which wounded your husband and caused him sorrow and distress. I saw that you had not loved as he has loved, your affections have been too much divided.1EGWLM 447.1

Your friends have taken too much of your sympathy. There has not been boldness enough on your part when you have been with them, there has been a shunning or shrinking from letting them know that the interest of your husband, and yourself, was in heaven, and not on the earth.1EGWLM 447.2

You have sought to please your friends altogether too much, and if you would have eternal life you must cut loose from relatives and acquaintances and not seek to please them but have your eye single to the glory of God, and serve Him with your whole heart.⁴

In addition to the problem of John Loughborough's long absences from home, mentioned above, Ellen White is probably referring to the problem of Mary's strong ties to friends and relatives in the Rochester area, which made her unwilling to move westward, where John's work lay (see opening sentence of letter). The Loughboroughs finally moved west to Iowa in 1856 and the following year to Michigan, but Mary continued to pine for Rochester. In a strong appeal to Mary in 1858 Ellen admonished her friend, “You must die to Rochester.” Ellen further reminded Mary that when she married John, she knew about “his wandering life. You chose him, a messenger of God.”

See: Adriel Chilson, ed., Miracles in My Life, pp. 45, 50; Ellen G. White, Lt 1, 1858 (Mar. 3).

1EGWLM 447.3

This will not wean you from your husband at all, but will draw you closer to him, and cause you to leave father, mother, sisters and brothers and friends and cleave to your husband, and love him better than anyone on earth, and make his wishes your wishes. And you can live in harmony and happiness.1EGWLM 447.4

I saw that you had often teased and fretted him until he would speak impatiently to you. This I saw on both sides was all wrong. God has given the man the preference; he is the head and the wife is to obey the husband, and the husband is not to be bitter against the wife, but love her as his own body.⁵

Extracted from Ephesians 5:23-28.

Dear Sister, I saw that you were not half given up to God, not half consecrated to Him. Your will was not swallowed up in the will of God. And you must get ready, fitted and prepared for Christ's coming, or you will come short, be weighed in the balance and found wanting. You must be more devoted to God, more in earnest about your soul's salvation and your eternal interest. I saw that if you would labor with your husband for God, you would not lose your reward. That is, labor to have him free and not lay a feather in his way but cheer, encourage, and hold him up by your prayers. God will notice it and will reward you.1EGWLM 447.5

In love.1EGWLM 448.1